Setting intentions

Each year I get the privilege of teaching first and second year university students, while they navigate the complexities of learning and life. It is through working with others, getting to know themselves, and reflecting on those experiences that the meaning is made. And those lessons are often carried past the classroom.

One of my favorite activities to do as part of the reflection, is to set intention. It is usually done at the time of beginnings, like starting at a new school or at the beginning of a new semester. We think about what we need to hear - It can be a motto, a word, a quote. And we build it into our daily routines, so that voice of intention is with us every single day.

In addition to having students work on this, each year I find one thing I know I need to hear. One thing if I say everyday, I will even start to believe. Like in 2017 when I was working on progress over perfection. Or in 2020 when I had to remind myself that the best was yet to come. And this past year when I focused on building my courage, with simply reminding myself that I can do hard things.

In the past the phrase has come to me, usually hitting with such an excitement that I start scribbling it down for the final weeks of the year in anticipation. But - I’m days away from the new year. And while my goals have been formed, my phrase has not yet made itself known.

And to be honest, I’m a little nervous. What do I need to hear right now? What part of me needs some encouragement and growth? I’ve been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I haven’t spent much time reflecting on the past year. On spending the year working with others, on what I’ve learned about myself so far in this journey, and making meaning from all the incredible experiences. So I’m going to spend the next few days just jotting my reflections down. And not stressing about my goals and what I want to do this coming year, but really thinking about who I want to be a year from now.

So if you’re like me and striving to find that intention as the new year approaches- ask yourself what is speaking to you, where you are at right now?

Once you find that intention, try these simple things:

• Write it on a post it note to put on your mirror or somewhere you see every morning

• Change your passwords to include it, as a simple and subtle reminder as you go through your daily routines

• Tell a friend or a loved one about your intention and what it means to you

• When you are feeling stressed, try taking a few deep breathes and then saying the word(s) out loud

• Write yourself a note about why you picked the intention, and tuck it away somewhere - until you need to read it

I can’t wait to hear what is speaking to you.

Erika

Try. Fail. Learn.

Today I gave my favorite lecture in a class I teach. I lovingly refer to this class as leadership through teams. Where we look at the predictable patterns of group development, and strategies on how to reflect and learn about ourselves and others in the messiness of collaboration.

The irony is not lost on me that I’ve spent the last 12 weeks actually practicing these concepts. Being challenged to take an idea and test it. Fail. Get feedback. Learn. And try again. And to advocate for myself, ask for the time and wisdom of experts, and put myself out there is a way that is hard - because I feel vulnerable.

One of my mentors taught me that you never need to be the smartest person in the room. You need to be the person who listens to understand, practices empathy, has integrity in your words and actions, and finds a way to be comfortable sitting in discomfort.

Because we cannot achieve things in isolation. We achieve things with others. And to make positive change, it’s messy. Because people are messy.

I am looking forward to the next few months and all the collaborations ahead. To growing the #localandgood project, to working on some new larger custom orders, to continue growing in my own entrepreneurship while assisting other creative entrepreneurs in their start.

It’s going to be messy. And it’s going to be worth it. I might fail, but gosh will I learn.

If I push too hard, it’s because things aren’t moving fast enough.

Difficult. Stubborn. Shrill.

Those have all been words people have said about me by men. Because I go all in when I believe in something.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the character Leslie Knope. “If I seem to passionate, it’s because I care. If I come on strong, it’s because I feel strongly. And if I push too hard, it’s because things aren’t moving fast enough.”

I am moving fast right now. I am pushing hard right now. And I know that some people will say things. But I’m also in a space where I can tune out the noise, and turn to my people.

In my 30s I have learned that relationships need nourishment. It’s like having a plant. You should check in on a plant. You should see if it needs anything like water or sunlight. If it needs something, you don’t critique it - you respond to it. Because a plant needs those things to survive. You don’t tell the plant it’s being difficult for having dry soil. You water it.

Saying a cruel word is a way hurt people release hurt. And it used to really hurt me. But the more life I live, I also know those words are not actually about me, but about the people who said them.

My advice for anyone feeling the negative words of others is to simply surround yourself with community. Find your people, who support your passion and your journey. Without judgement.

Because you are capable of amazing things. Push hard friends.